Telling Your Story (or Not): Deciding When to Share Your Mental Health Journey
10/17/2025
You may not have heard this yet, but you aren’t obligated to share your mental health story. This includes your boss, your friends, or even people you're dating. But sometimes sharing can foster understanding from coworkers and improve working conditions, build closer relationships with others, and help you feel less alone in your mental health journey.
How do you decide when to share and when to keep things private? Let’s talk about making smart choices about mental health disclosure that protect you while helping you get what you need.
Understanding What Disclosure Really Means
Mental health disclosure simply means sharing your diagnosis with those around you. You can share different amounts of information with different people depending on the situation. Maybe you tell your boss, “I have anxiety and need a quieter workspace” without going into detail about a history of panic attacks. You can also consider telling a close friend about your depression journey but keeping it private from casual acquaintances.
Mental Health America explains that healthy disclosure is about sharing information that serves a purpose for you, not just fulfilling someone’s curiosity.
At School: Know Your Rights
If you're in high school or college and need accommodations for ADHD, anxiety, depression, or other mental health conditions, it can help your outcomes to disclose something. But it is important that you control how much detail you share.
Under the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), schools have to provide reasonable accommodations. This might mean extra time on tests, a quiet testing space, or deadline extensions. To get this you will likely need documentation from a doctor or therapist.
Start the process with your school's disability services office. In Northeast Ohio, schools like Cleveland State University, Kent State, and the University of Akron all have dedicated offices that keep your information confidential.
For classmates and friends at school, you get to decide what feels right. Sharing can help people understand you better, but only if you trust them.
At Work: Start with a Strategy
At work, you want to protect yourself legally while also making sure you have the conditions you need to do your job well. The Job Accommodation Network (JAN) is an amazing free resource that explains your rights and gives examples of accommodations for different mental health conditions.
If you need accommodations, you can request them through HR. Your employer has to keep this confidential and can’t discriminate against you for having a mental health condition.
When it comes to what to share, focus on what you need, not your diagnosis. Instead of saying, “I have severe anxiety and depression,” try reframing your situation to, “I work best with written instructions and advance notice about schedule changes.” With this you are describing solutions, not symptoms.
When NOT to share details: during job interviews, it is usually better to wait. Once you have the job and know the culture, you can decide if and when to request accommodations. In casual conversation with coworkers, think carefully about whether sharing will help or hurt you in that specific workplace.
In Relationships: Build Trust Gradually
With friends and romantic partners, sharing your mental health journey can create deeper connections. But timing and trust matter a lot.
The Jed Foundation suggests thinking about disclosure in relationships as a gradual process. You don’t need to share everything on the first date or when you first meet someone.
Here are some good signs it might be time to share:
- You have known the person for a while and they are trustworthy
- You are having symptoms that affect the relationship and you want to help them understand
- They have shared vulnerable things with you
- You feel safe and not pressured
Red flags to wait:
- The person gossips about others
- They have made negative comments about mental health
- You feel pressured to explain yourself
- The relationship is very new
Remember that how someone responds to your disclosure tells you a lot about whether they are right for your life.
How to Say It
You don't need a script, but having a general approach helps. Try some of these starters:
- Say it simply: “I want to share something about my mental health.”
- Give relevant details: “I have ADHD, which means I sometimes...”
- Explain what you need: “It helps me when you...”
- Set boundaries: “I'm still figuring this out, so I might not want to talk about it all the time.”
The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) has great conversation starters and tips for different situations on their website.
Unexpected Reactions
Sometimes people react in ways that you didn’t expect. They might minimize what you’re going through, share your information without permission, or treat you differently. This says everything about them and nothing about you.
If someone violates your privacy at work or school, document it and report it to HR or administration. You have legal protections.
If a friend or partner reacts poorly, it’s okay to step back from that relationship. The right people will respond with empathy and support.
Your Story, Your Choice
At the end of the day, your mental health information belongs to you. Sharing can be powerful and helpful, but so can privacy. You don't need to be an advocate or educator unless you want to be.
Trust yourself to know what feels right in each situation. And remember: you can always share more later, but you can't un-share. When in doubt, wait until you feel confident about your decision.
The key question for you is this: "Will sharing this information help me in some way?" If the answer is yes, it might be worth it. If not, you can absolutely keep it to yourself.
More Information