Your Life, Your Rules: Breaking Free from Comparisons and Others' Opinions as a Young Adult
3/13/2026
By Serena M.
Do you ever find yourself scrolling Instagram and feeling like everyone on your feed has it all figured out? Well, you aren’t alone. My name is Serena, and I have figured out a lot of things so far, but I still fall victim to this myself.
At this point, I’ve learned that life can be exhausting. Constantly comparing yourself to other people, especially on social media, as well as worrying about what other people think of you makes life more exhausting. This will throw you into a cycle of toxic negativity, especially because everyone makes it look like they have it all together online.
Here’s what to do when you catch yourself doing this: remind yourself of three things you’re proud about, three goals you’re striving towards, and three qualities that make you an awesome and unique person. This helps you ground yourself, stop worrying, and build your confidence while reminding you that it’s okay to be where and who you are.
Why Do We Compare
So here’s the thing: your brain is literally wired to notice what other people are doing. While this is normal in the age that we live in, it can become problematic. Social media makes it so that you can see everyone’s highlight reels and life achievements 24/7, 7 days a week. So, of course, it’s hard not to feel like you’re falling behind.
Here’s the real truth: Comparison is futile. Someone will always have better grades, cooler shoes, and more money than you. This isn’t a game you can win; it’s more like a constant way to source negativity.
Take Control of Your Narrative
If you want to feel better about yourself, here’s what worked for me: start being nice to yourself and erase the negativity. Build your self-esteem, be confident (and if you don’t feel confident, then fake it until you feel it), and remember that doing well in life isn’t all about being perfect; it’s about meeting yourself where you are, accepting yourself, exploring what interests you, and learning to love your little quirks and flaws.
Genuinely pay attention to that little voice inside your head and how it’s talking to you. Is that voice your best friend hyping you up, or is it bringing you down? Know that you deserve that little voice to be your bestie who has your back.
The Real Secret: Stop Caring What Others Think
Look, I know this sounds nearly impossible to achieve, but you can get pretty close by accepting that you’ll never truly please everyone around you, and this is okay. Know that this is for the best, because people will sort themselves into and out of your life for different reasons and at different times. This will help you understand who really matters in your life. If someone really cares about you, they are going to like you for exactly who you are–not for the mask you’re putting on or who you are pretending to be.
Your Next Steps
I challenge you to try this: Take a break from comparing, name that mean voice in your head, unfollow accounts that promote your self-negativity, and spend time with the people who matter. I promise you, you won’t regret it.
About the Author: My name is Serena. I am a transition-aged youth in Northeast Ohio who is learning how to navigate adulthood one step at a time alongside all of you. I have faced my fair share of challenges, but I have learned from each experience. I want to share how I see the world, advocate for myself, and keep moving forward. My story is still being written, and it’s rooted in growth, resilience, and figuring things out as I go.